Kentucky Sunrise

Ok, so I haven't seen a sunrise in KY, but I'm sleeping nights while I'm here!  Anyone who's anyone knows I don't see sunrise unless I'm up first.

I'm getting married, and I brought my fiance to KY to meet my brother and sister-in-law.  What a trip!  We spent the day in Cincinnati yesterday, and we just got home from church today.  Its been so good.  I feel a lot closer to my sister-in-law this time around.  I know only a few of my close friends follow this so I don't mind mentioning that the relationship between me and my sister-in-law has been a little rocky since she married my brother 3 years ago.  I have tried and tried to find the cause of the conflict over the years, and I think I have been able to chalk it up to this one thing that is almost always the cause of any conflict with me and another girl of relation or otherwise.  That thing is that we are the same exact person.  Of course, there are the obvious things that make us wonderfully different, but when it comes right down to it, emotionally, we're practically the same person.  We want to feel loved and accepted, we sometimes feel like we have to work extra hard to be loved that much, we want to give everything we've got to the people we care about, and we think with our hearts and sometimes not so much our brain.  In a way, it makes me sort of glad that my fiance missed his flight to Louisville and my brother fell asleep in the back seat for an hour-and-a-half car ride.  I loved every second of my one-on-one time with Erin.

I've prayed and prayed to see Erin how my brother sees her.  I've always liked her, but I wanted to love her.  The car ride is like a miracle to me now.  The most telling similarity I discovered between her and I, that I did not know before, is that we both have the same mind-set about our school experiences.  It was always about the social aspects.  We are both highly motivated by the surrounding of ourselves with people.  And when I look at Erin now, knowing how similar we are, (and try not to see this as me being vain) I can tell that everything she does or says is out of love.  Even when she is stern with you about not putting your plate in the sink, she's teaching you and urging you to be better every second.  She wants what's best for everyone in her life because her heart is just that big.  And I see that as one of the things my brother absolutely loves about her.  It makes me happy to know that I can find those things I really love about her all on my own.  And I no longer need my brother's love for her to be the reason that I love her.  I love her for my own reasons now and they are many.

I suppose its hard for the first in-law in a huge tight-knit family.  Lots of expectations and disappointments, a major lack of experience in letting someone in, but I gladly take blame for what I've done to make it difficult and I don't think it will be anymore.  Each event in our lives helps us learn to be better and the timing is such that we'll be able to recognize and revise.  I am excited to revise my relationship with Erin and make it that much better.  She's not hard for me to understand anymore, and I love her like a sister.  Its really a wondrous blessing to me.  And I am grateful.